Being Like Martha

I have this condition—I like to call it “being Martha”. You know, like Martha from the Bible who couldn’t stop cooking and cleaning and being stressed out that her sister wasn’t helping her when Jesus came to visit. Mary was just sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to him talk, and Martha was NOT cool with that.

I am a doer. I don’t like to go to bed unless I have accomplished an acceptable amount of tasks that day. Of course, some days it’s not possible to check off all the things on my to-do list, and on those nights, I lay awake plotting how I’m going to finish everything I was supposed to do that day in addition to what I am supposed to do the next day.

I create tasks and deadlines for myself and then experience crushing disappointment when I fail to meet my unreasonable expectations. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Martha, here are a couple verses that give you a good idea of what kind of person she was/I am:

“But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” -Luke 10:40

This cracks me up because she must have been beyond stressed out to think that the Son of God, her houseguest, was an appropriate person to ask her sister to help cook food. It’s so ridiculous, and yet I admit, I have probably been that flustered before. I haven’t necessarily asked highly respected teachers to get my relative to help me in the kitchen, but I have snapped at people when I felt like I was scurrying around at a necessary speed of Mach 3 and they weren’t doing enough to help.

Like I said, I’ve been this way for years and I didn’t even realize this until about one year ago, when my mother in law brought it up and suggested I pray about it. When she and I talked about my unreasonable expectations, I was suddenly aware of how much my daily accomplishments (or lack thereof) influenced my moods. If I drink tons of coffee and tick off several items on my To-Do list, I’m elated. It kind of gives me a high. I feel like a rockstar or something. But if one task takes a long time and it’s the only one checked off, or if something comes up or I get sick and can’t check anything off, I’m in a pit of despair. This correlation between my accomplishments and mood is so obvious now but for most of my life, I was clueless.

You may be asking, “Ok you’re a little extreme, but what’s so bad about being driven and wanting to get things done and then feeling good about it?” I’ll tell you. IT DOESN’T LAST.

Just like any high, it goes away. For me, it resets every morning. I often feel like I don’t want to get out of bed because as soon as I do, I have to start the daily race against the clock—a race that is emotionally and physically exhausting, and often, not winnable!

Here is what Jesus said in the next couple verses in reply to that crazy Martha:

“But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." –Luke 10:41-42

Martha’s sister wasn’t doing anything helpful. She wasn’t cooking, or cleaning, or being a very good hostess. But Jesus defended her, saying that what she was doing was way more important and permanent than hostess duties. She was living in the moment, taking advantage of an incredible situation. She was listening to the Lord speak. We don’t know what He said because that’s not in the Bible, but guess what? She knows. Because she wasn’t in the freaking kitchen, like her neurotic sister Martha!

At the end of my life I want to be able to say I enjoyed the little moments. I don’t want a lifetime of memories of running around doing kind of pointless activities just because I like the feeling of doing stuff. I need to learn to sit and listen. To be still and know that He is God.

It’s a process but He’s helping me slow down when I need to and not beat myself up when I choose to sit around and spend time with my family. I hope that if you are going through anything similar you can reach out to the One person who is really worth losing the Rat Race for. He doesn’t want us to be “worried or bothered about so many things.” “Only one thing is necessary”, He said. I, for one, would like to shift my focus to pursuing things that matter and highs that don’t fade away.